I've had over one hundred 1-2-1s this year, and I've met an awful lot of people at various networking evetns.
Many have become clients, partners, and friends.
Interestingly, for each of them, they have all been in one of "three places"
1 - The Past
2 - The Present
3 - The Future
Now when I say this, I mean, that different people tend to be "pre-occupied" in their mind.
Many people have regrets about decisions they have made (or not made) in the past. They continue to play "what if" scenarios out in their head as to what could have happened, or how life could have turned out had they made a particular choice, or if a deal had gone their way, or if someone had done what they had supposed to. Unfortunately, From the many people I have spoken with having conducted my 3 minute marketing audit, or gone on to complete my coaching program, there are common
feelings, and experiences among all of them with regards to their perception of "view" of the past.
Many are sad, angry, upset, certainly disappointed or even guilty or bitter about events from their past. Many are resentful, some even disgusted at the way they feel others have behaved or even hateful towards them. All this replaying of emotions over and over again, isn't good. Definitely not good, can affect their attitude, their perceptions, and their ability to "let go" and crack on with life, or business in general. Even in the marketing context, many regret having paid money on a marketing tactic that didn't work, they bought advertising space for a knock down price that didn't yield a single response, or bought an ebook that wasn't worth the money (because they didnt implement what it recommended.) A lot of negativity or lack of progress and results can come from still being in the past, and not simply learning from our previous experiences, and applying that learning as we go forward.
Many people who contact me are anxious about the future. They are stressed, lack confidence and are uncertain how they will achieve certain results or whether they can make progress in a particular area. A lot of people can be suspicious about new people new ideas, new ways of doing things, and in fact, many people often are afraid of the way things might turn out.
Now the irony here is they tend to do the same as though that can't let go off the past. They play over and over in their minds all these negative possible outcomes - all these negative "what if" scenarios of things could or might turn out, if they don't make a particular choice, decision, or take a particular action. Many feel not in control of their own destiny, a feeling of hoplessmess, as they become more and more tense and uneasy about how things might turn out.
Me. Well f*** it, the past is gone. Hopefully I've learned from both the good and bad decisions I've made in my life. They say we are the sum total of our experiences to date, and I can't necessarily argue with that.
I was shot when I was 15, and for 3 years I worried about becoming blind in my other eye. You wouldn't believe how much of a mamsy pamsy scaredy cat I became about a whole host of things.
It's what we do now, today that will affect and change our future. In fact, the only time you can actually do anything is NOW!
It's now in the present that we feel in control, and productive. When we extend this, and become aware that we are in the now, the present, and concentrating on the tasks in hand, and making decisions now that could positively affect our future, that's what's really important.
When we focus on where we are now, we can appreciate what's real, we becoming accepting of our situation, open to change, energised in our flow, and self aware of opportunities that are staring us in the face which are the catalyst for excellent positive change, to break the chains and burden of regret from the past, and smash the doubts, worries and fears of the future.
Confidence comes from focusing on the now. Progress comes from making positive decisions towards our future, and Results are generated from implementing a positive plan of action for the future.
Remember, the only time you can do anything is now, the present !
Apparently, some people's days consist of allocting 80% of their thinking time to regreting the past or worrying about the future.
A brilliant saying I came across years ago was "What you resist, persists" - and I agree.
Resistance will soon enough disappear once you focus on changing your future for the better
Accept the past, and start creating the future you want - NOW. TODAY.
Take stock, identify where you are, where you want to be and le't's make the next 12 months the best you've ever had.
Onwards and upwards